Surrey League – Spencer 1 vs Bourne 1 – Match Report

  • Surrey Squash and Racketball

The following is an unconventional match report kindly written by Jannus, apparently applying a South African approach…!

Heading off to the courts after a hard week of working and obviously trying to keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum seeing that we are going into summer. Things were not looking good from the beginning of the week. Alex pulling out like a teenage boy on prom night, with me letting the guys know that I will be late and with Jamie having an excuse about an ex-girlfriend wanting her promise ring back. Luckily for us, Grant stepped up and said that he would be early to ensure that things got underway.

I arrive at the courts and what do I see?! Grant looking like he just had a light run to get the blood flowing, but in reality he was already 1-0 in games. He was looking confident and ready to give the guys a Spencer special. I hear Jamie is also on court and decided to run up (walk slowly) to support the man that is 1-0 down. To my surprise he takes the 2nd game in 102 seconds. 15-1. Played some amazing shots and a few good rallies. Decided to give him some quality advice on what to do in the third. He went back on court and went down in the 3rd. This is when I start to see a pattern that when I give advice he loses.

Back to Grant’s game – Grant is looking strong running circles around his more shot-driven opponent. It isn’t long before Grant takes the second game with excellent short/long game shots. 2- 0 Grant. He also used the corners very well. Just as Grant goes back on court, I hear Jamie has taken the 4th game. It’s 2-2. Decided that I will test my theory of whether it is my advice that is making him lose the game. Realise it’s a risk! But life is a risk! Go over to Jamie and say that all he needs to do to win this game is to “WIN MORE POINTS THAN THE OTHER GUY”. Better advice could not have been given.

Grant has just won the third game and the match putting Spencer Squash Club ahead! Well done Grant on an excellent Match! South African Represent!

Danny appears like a Ninja out of nowhere! He watches Jamie’s game while I warm up (taking my racket out of my bag). My opponent is a silver fox and has the experience of a man that has been married for 40 years.
After my warmup on court, I go off to find out Jamie has gone down in the 5th. To my shock it has been confirmed…..My advice will make you lose….. After the sad moment in my life, I decide that I need to keep my chin up and get on with life.

I get on court. My opponent enjoys long rallies as much I do. NOT AT ALL! We finish the first game in minutes (3 minutes). I am lucky enough to sneak the first game. We get back on court for the second game. With my superior fitness and agility I am able to win the second. By this time Danny has gone on court looking like a cool cucumber.

I just hear the crowd go crazy for Danny’s game and know he is doing well. I am a few points behind in the 3rd and I hear this voice from the top. Grant saying : We f**** need this Jannus!. Decide to change my strategy! EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ROLLING NIC’S! This plan paid off? Don’t know as nothing hit the nic. 3-0 Jannus

Run back up and Danny is 2-0 up in games and just running like a man that is being chased by his two girlfriends. Not before long and Danny takes the 3rd.

It’s official! Spencer has won their first Summer League game in the new division 4!

Well done to everyone on the night!